Q: #22. What is Biblical accountability?
A: Biblical accountability is a vital aspect of a Christian's walk with the
Lord. Accountability means that we have anywhere from 1 to 3 people that hold us
responsible for our actions in areas of our lives in which we consistently
struggle with sin, or fail to live up to God's standards. Accountability is
meant to help us overcome these sinful strongholds in our lives.
I don't personally know of any person that doesn't struggle with at least
one (or more) particular sin in their life. However, if you ask them "Who are
you accountable to?" they will reply "No one" or "What is accountability?"
People fail to realize that if sin is kept in the darkness, it is nearly
impossible to overcome. Sin thrives and grows in the darkness. It must be brought
into the light if it is to die (Eph 5:11-14). So many people think they can walk
the Christian walk alone... These "Lone Ranger" Christians don't feel they need
other believers to come along side of them. They don't want to depend on others,
but would rather be independent. Many see dependence as a sign of weakness. Some
have abuse in their past, and don't trust anyone. Others don't want anyone to
judge their behavior, nor do they want to judge anyone else's behavior. These
obstacles must be overcome. They are the opposite of God's will for our lives.
Accountability means finding that person, or better yet several persons, who
love Christ, will love you unconditionally, and want to see you come up higher.
They should be people you respect, people you trust, people who will support and
encourage you, people who will not condemn you no matter what sins you struggle
with. Most importantly, they should also be people that you can confide in, and
know without a doubt that what is said to them will be kept confidential, and not
shared with anyone else. Breaking confidentiality will destroy an accountability
relationship.
Building these relationships often takes time. It is not easy, especially
for those who are very independent or who have trust issues. There is nothing
wrong with starting slow. Possibly, start with a smaller issue, that you would
like help with that isn't so hard to discuss, and begin to build that trust and
bond. As time goes on, you should be able to deal with deeper issues. You will
also find yourself built up as you are able to be there for your accountability
partners, and know that they are depending on you. Brothers and sisters in Christ
depending on each other; this is a Biblical concept.
(James 5:16) Confess your faults one to another, and pray for one another, that
ye may be healed.
(Gal 6:1-2) Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual,
restore such a one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also
be tempted. (2) Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.
(Eccl 4:9-10) Two are better than one... (10) For if they fall, the one will lift
up his fellow (friend): but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath
not another to help him up.
(Heb 3:13) But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of
you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.
(1 Thess 5:11) Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another...
(Prov 27:17) Iron sharpeneth iron; So a man sharpeneth the countenance of his
friend.
(2 Tim 4:2) reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. (Also
see: Rom 15:14, Heb 10:25)
(2 Cor 1:3-4) ... the God of all comfort; (4) who comforts us in all tribulation,
that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort
wherewith we ourselves are comforted by God.
The Bible clearly shows us that God never meant for us to walk alone. Even
Jesus had His group of 12 to support Him, and of that 12, He also had a smaller
group of 3 that He shared even more deeply with. When Jesus sent out the 70 men
to go ahead of Him to the places he Himself would later go, He sent them out in
twos (Lk 10:1). When the apostles went to proclaim the gospel all through the
New Testament, they went in twos. They needed each other. WE need each other.
We need each other as a body of believers that form the church in general
(large group).
We also need to support and be supported in a local church (Heb 10:25)
(a smaller group).
We need to form even closer bonds in such places as small groups, Bible study
groups, and Sunday school (an even smaller group).
And, we need to go even further in forming an accountability group (the smallest
and most intimate group).
The larger groups are certainly important and vital to a believer, but they
are not meant to bear the most intimate details of your personal life. We must go
deeper.
How do we do this? We must allow these accountability partners TOTAL access
to our lives. We must be willing to openly share our sins and struggles, and they
need to be willing and able to ask some tough questions. Questions about our
relationship with God, our spouses, and our children. Questions about our
temptations, and the sins we have committed when we gave into the temptations.
Questions in areas such as: sex and pornography, alcohol and drugs, gambling,
finances, temper, unhealthy relationships, how we use our time, what we watch or
listen to, pride, etc...
This can be VERY uncomfortable. It is meant to be so. This is how we overcome.
When sin is brought into the light, it helps set us free. There are few things
more difficult in life than to openly confess your faults and hidden secrets to
another person. It can be embarrassing, scary, and humiliating. However, one
thing you will come to find out, is that you don't want to keep confessing the
same sins over and over. We want to come up higher.
**Note: Let me add here that accountability partners should be the same sex. For
married people this is a MUST. Married people should NOT be sharing intimate
details of their lives with the opposite sex. This is a dangerous road to travel.
However, even for those not married, you need same sex accountability. The old
adage is true, men will never understand women, nor will women understand men.
We have different thought processes, desires, and needs, and will never fully
understand these in the opposite sex, nor can we fully give them the help they
need.
Accountability groups should meet at LEAST once a week. Accountability
partners should readily be available if you need them during the week as well.
They should be available to support, encourage, and pray with you, if you are
struggling to avoid sinning, or if you have given into temptation and sinned and
you need help. Meeting once a week is great, but what if you struggle during the
week? You need someone who can help you through right then, not later. That is
important.
Make every effort to meet when you are scheduled to do so. I think it is safe
to say that Satan and his demons hate accountability groups, and will do anything
they can to hinder or break them apart. If you don't meet on a regular basis, and
frequently, the group will likely be ineffective, and neither you, nor your
partners will overcome. Each person in the group must be COMMITTED! They must be
in it for the long haul.
Always make sure whenever you meet, that prayer surrounds your meetings. Open
with prayer, and close with prayer specifically for the needs and problems
discussed. Cover with prayer those who are struggling. There is power in
agreeing prayer (Mt 18:19).
Let me add here, one other aspect of accountability. That is accountability
to an individual or individuals that you have harmed, and you need to make things
right. This is not the same thing as an accountability partner or group, and it
doesn't have the same function, but it is important in the process to help us
overcome sin in our life. Have you hurt someone? Have you caused someone pain
because of your sin? Do you have a secret sin that you haven't confessed to a
loved one? If this applies to you, accountability may well force you to confess
that sin to whomever you have hurt, whether they are aware you have done it or not.
You will need to apologize and seek forgiveness. I can guarantee that you won't
want to have to do that again at a later time. If there is a secret sin, the
person may be hurt and angry. Restoration of the relationship may take time.
Trust may have to be rebuilt. Healing will have to occur. It will take effort,
and may even require outside help, such as counseling, to restore the
relationship. However, rest assured that if you are wholeheartedly seeking to
follow and do God's will, He WILL take care of you and will work all things for
your good (Rom 8:28). Our accountability group can also be there to support and
encourage us during this time.
Friend, please keep in mind that some accountability relationships don't
work out for one reason or another. Do NOT stop trying! There are plenty of men
and women out there who are lonely and hurting and struggling with sin, that
need someone to come along side of them, and who would love to help you too. They
are just waiting for someone to ask.
Also, it is important to understand that accountability alone will not help
us to get free from the sinful strongholds in our lives. There are things only
WE can do. We must take steps to "flee" when opportunities to sin appear
(1 Cor 6:18)(1 Cor 10:14)(1 Tim 6:11)(2 Tim 2:22). We must avoid putting ourselves
in situations that we know will tempt us, or cause us to sin. We must remove things
in our lives that are associated with the sin (i.e. If you struggle with alcohol,
don't keep it in your house. If you are addicted to internet pornography or internet
chat, get rid of the internet.) We must make a covenant with our eyes (Job 31:1),
set no wicked thing before our eyes (Ps 101:3), and should not let our eyes wander
(Prov 4:24). We must make no provision for the flesh (Rom 13:14).
Through these actions, accountability, and prayer, God WILL work in your life
and you can be set FREE!
