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     I don't know where to begin. I'll try to be concise and let the Spirit talk through so that His Name will be praised as I tell you His working through my body.

     I have had multiple sclerosis for almost 25 years, started using walking aides 10 years ago, and then had to go to an elec. wheelchair about 5 years ago. (About the same time I became a Christian.) Many Christians offered to pray with and for me, frankly I discouraged them. During the 5 years I learned more and more about Jesus and His love for us, I experienced much inner healing, and I thought that healing of the body just wouldn't be for me. I guess I believed that I wasn't worthy of His healing.

     About a year ago, I was praying with a partner who encouraged me to pray for physical healing. We prayed diligently, searched the Scriptures, and he recommended some good books. I learned that I needed to accept the forgiveness that was so freely given when I was saved, yet didn't believe I deserved. (Well, none of us do, but Jesus made the sacrifice anyway). And I needed to go back and forgive others. During this time, MRI's showed only a worsening of the disease and a rapid progression, I was looking at having to be in a nursing home within a years time. I also learned to admit there was an area of active sin in my life, and with the help of a good online friend, confessed to those whom I had sinned against and asked for forgiveness from them and from God. It was after this time that I felt almost compelled to get up from my chair and take a step with no aides. I tried this every day! Soon I was able to take 10 steps, then more. Within two months I was walking around my apartment, holding on to furniture and railings, but walking! I told no one! I had to admit to myself that if I were the man at the pool at Bethesda, I would have told Jesus that I didn't want to be healed. I learned that I was full of fear. I didn't know how to be well! Jesus kept on healing me anyway, and within 6 months I was walking freely around my apartment. I had still not told anyone.

     One evening when praying with my prayer partner, he quoted "for by His wounds ye are healed" and asked me when I would accept it (I had not told him of my walking). I realized that I had been healed and that I could leave my apartment at anytime and continue to get stronger. I had stopped taking my MS meds, and cut back on other meds, and still kept getting stronger. Soon after realizing that Jesus had been healing me despite myself, I heard a sermon in which the pastor quoted Rev 3:20 "Behold I stand at the door and knock...." I had heard this verse many times, but this time it was different, and I felt that it was really meant for me to hear and act upon. After getting home from church, I posted that scripture on my front door not knowing why. Monday morning I woke up and went directly to the door and opened it and said out loud "Jesus, if you are knocking, I want you to come in" and literally stood aside to usher Him in. I felt a powerful presence enter my apartment!! I spent that morning with Jesus and was able to confess my fears to Him. I felt His reassuring love in return and knew that He had brought me this far and wouldn't abandon me. This gave me the courage to begin to tell people (my daughters, my prayer partner, my pastor, a number of my friends) that I was walking! What an amazing amount of support I received!!! Well, my pastor was the most skeptical. A visit to my neurologist was coming up and I dreaded it. As it turned out, he believes in the power of prayer, and said there is no medical explanation, progressive MS does not reverse itself. He accepted that I wasn't going to go back on the meds, and is supervising my tapering off other meds. I no longer take any pain meds at all, except for the occasional ibuprofen when I have walked too far for one day. A later visit to my primary care physician brought much more skepticism, but even he couldn't deny that my blood work had come back normal for the first time in over a year! I now walk freely around my building and out doors, I try to walk around the block every day, and have recently walked to the grocery store and done my own shopping on my feet for the first time in many years!

     I am full of gratitude! I don't know what the future will bring, but I do know that opening the door and inviting Jesus in was a symbolic move and that He walks by my side every day in a very real sense. I know now that it is about the "relationship" with Him that counts! I know it in my heart and not just in my head. I know that this isn't about me, or my healing, it IS about the HEALER!

     I am writing to tell you how this has been for me. I do not encourage people to stop taking medications. Nor is it a judgment of anyone else's journey of healing.

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